Monthly Archives: December 2012

Favorite Music from 2012

Let’s do something fun today and not be so self-focused and introspective. (That becomes tiring after a while…)

Music. I enjoy music. I even play it from time to time. And my taste in music is diverse and…incredibly picky. Even hipster-ish. And for me, music and memories tend to go together. Certain songs and albums can remind me of certain times and memories, some good and some not-so-good. That’s why I can’t listen to Switchfoot’s Learing To Breathe. Yes, I am strange.

Anyways, here’s my five favorite albums released in 2012…and one added on for good measure.

1.) Will Reagan and United Pursuit – Endless Years
-This one was a no-brainer, despite being released at the beginning of December. Will and his UPB friends have KILLED IT with this one. I don’t know of any other album where every song has hit my heart and caused me to tear up within the first 24 hours of listening to it. It’s that good.

2.) Jonathan David and Melissa Helser – On The Shores
-These guys have been huge in my worship times and when I finally listened to their latest, oh man. I still choose this album when it’s time for worship and reflection.

3.) Mumford and Sons – Babel
-They had me hooked from the first chorus:
“Cause I’ll know my weakness, know my voice
And I’ll believe in grace and choice
And I know perhaps my heart is fast
But I’ll be born without a mask”

And there’s much more goodness on their Deluxe Album. “Where Are You Now?” is some solid evidence of that. I could go on and on…but let’s move on.

4.) The Avett Brothers – The Carpenter
-I wanted to put this higher on the list, but between the first three albums and the fact that this album hit so many deep and personal areas of my life, it hurt to listen to it sometimes (if that makes sense…) Even when they released “Live and Die” as a single, it hit me deep. The hardest song to listen to is “Through My Prayers”:
“Feels like no one understands
And now my only chance
To talk to you is through my prayers
I only wanted to tell you I care”

5.) The Lumineers – The Lumineers
-This album quickly moved from being an inside joke to my summer jam. And I’m talking about the whole album being my summer jam. It was perfect for the summer days when the top and doors were off the jeep and it went alongside albums from The Avett Brothers and Mumford and Sons perfectly. And everytime I hear “Classy Girls”, memories and inside jokes come flying back.

Added on for good measure: Paper Route – The Peace Of Wild Things
-I wanted to put this on at #5 due to the fun memories that come up when “You and I” plays, but the painful memories that this one tugs at is too much to recover from.

And…album that will be released in 2013 that I already have: Charlie Hall – The Death Of Death
-I will admit that I’ve never been a huge fan of Charlie Hall. I’ve liked a few of his songs, but that was about it. Then I decided to back his Kickstarter project a few weeks ago…and ended up with his new album two weeks before it was released. Ummm…WOW. This might be my favorite album for 2013. And that’s saying a lot.

So there you go.

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Three Years Ago

My woozy-headed father is on oxygen now…they cut back on his meds since it’s affecting his balance and he and my mom will meet with the doctor on Thursday and talk about whether or not to continue the chemo for his liver.
Posted on Facebook 12/15/09 9:07 pm

Just lost one of my black plugs for gauges down the drain. Cuss cuss cuss cuss cuss.”
Posted on Twitter 12/15/09 10:46 pm

I read these two posts from three years ago this morning and the first thought that came to mind was “I was a dumbass. While dad was dying, I whined about losing a piece of plastic down the drain.”

It’s proof that even at 28, someone isn’t mature. I had been on a streak of immaturity that had been going for years and I was okay with it because I was lazy. The friends I hung around with were lazy and immature too; but three years ago, that started to change.

It’s amazing what trials and testing and the shaking that God does will do to someone. Onward we go on the path to maturity.

Some More Thoughts

-This blog has become a place of release for me; to give voice to some of the silent thoughts in my head. Life isn’t pretty. It’s messy 99% of the time and I don’t want to give off the illusion that its all rainbows and happy puppies and kittens with Jesus. There are times where it’s a battle and there is a beauty within that struggle when you’re drawing closer to Him. He brings joy to all seasons that we go through and while it doesn’t make sense to me most of the time, I know that He is worth the battle.

-It seems that things are changing in my life, almost like a season of transition for me. I only know of bits and pieces that are changing, but still. It’s change and sometimes I don’t handle change too well. I have a tendency to become lazy and even though change frustrates me and causes me to be hateful and ornery, its a good thing most of the time.

-Another thing that has changed for me recently is the whole mentor-mentoree thing. In the midst of a conversation last week, I found myself becoming tired of performing and having to take on a mentor role and ready to relax. I had come to a place where I was ready to open up and be known. I’ll admit that I had spent a good part of the afternoon trying to read this friend until I realized that she was constantly being read by so many around her and there was no need for me to try and read her. I just needed to enjoy the moment and the calm silence and the friendship. After admitting that, there was a freedom in that confession and release. It was such a good thing for me.

December 2nd

It was a great day. It was a “get out of town and turn the cell phone off” kind of day. I need this kind of day more often than I will admit. Social media fuels quite a few of my insecurities, to be honest, so disregarding the phone really does help kill that fuel. But yesterday was priceless to me since there are very few people that I open up to and when it happens…it’s a good day. (Especially when it involves steak and Starbucks)

This morning, though, I am painfully aware of my humanness and brokenness. It’s crazy to think that I wasn’t aware of how broken I was before this past year. The best part is being able to see and understand how Christ takes my brokenness and begins to methodically work on me. He doesn’t work on or heal me the way that I expect Him to. Rather, He does what He needs to in me that will bring Him the most glory…no matter how painful it is during the process.

Okay…I know that I’ve talked about the healing process on here before, but that’s the thing: it’s a process. Yes, Jesus could miraculously heal my brokenness but I have come to the place where I’ve realized that He isn’t after only my wholeness. He wants me and is willing to use whatever it takes to draw me in close to Him…even the hard things. I don’t think that God’s unwillingness to miraculously heal me makes Him an angry, irrational, unjust deity…He is there in the midst of my hurt and pain and He also loves to take broken people and let Him shine through them. Does it make sense to me? Not all of the time, especially in middle of my pain and heartache…and that has happened quite a bit over the past few months. But for me to sit here and try to make sense of it all is exhausting. All He ever asked was for me to trust Him.

With all of that said, there’s still more healing to come for me. There’s still more deep rooted idols to be exposed and more “why” questions to be answered. I know some of it may look like coping, but it isn’t. It’s the healing process and it won’t look the same every time. And that’s okay with me. Whatever He wants to use for His glory, then so be it…no matter how painful it is.